Looking Beyond Egg Donor Photos

25 Apr

  In this post I’d like to offer some guidance around the search for a perfect egg donor.  While I really do understand wanting to have a child that resembles you and your family members, it’s helpful to remember that characteristics aren’t guaranteed to be passed down to the next generation.   Yes, there are similarities that most future parents look for in an egg donor, like hair color or eye color, but there can be surprises that leave you wondering about your selection.  Often times a newborn baby looks nothing like the donor and looks just like “Dad,” or the baby might look like a relative from several generations back from the “other” side of the family.

It’s really not just about the photos provided by a donor.  I like to recommend a more holistic approach to sorting through your donor options because you might discover some positive attributes that you hadn’t previously considered.  See if you can get a feel for her personality, really focusing on how she answers  questions like why she wants to donate.  Imagine being a shy person and loving the fact that the donor is the “life of the party”, or has a talent for telling a good joke.   Her likes and dislikes may reflect how she was raised, just as a good story about a family vacation she took with her parents when she was young, might reveal how it impacted her life.

Think about her experience of “family.”  She could be close with her parents and in constant contact with her siblings, or not have much contact because they have differences.   Try not to let the latter turn you off — think about how you have been raised and how close you may be to a friend but not a sibling.  Does that make her less of a person? Less of a donor?

I realize many couples seeking a donor would like to find a replacement for the partner who needs the eggs, and that egg donation isn’t your first choice, BUT you do have options to become pregnant – that’s a good thing – and sometimes we can even improve on our genetics and poor family health history when choosing a donor.

I encourage each of you searching for the perfect match to look at the whole donor profile  – look beyond the pictures – and don’t discount any willing donor who you may have a good “feeling” about.

Best wishes,

Nancy Block

“Through our relationships, we help create families.”

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One Response to “Looking Beyond Egg Donor Photos”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Poll: What’s the Most Important Quality You Look for in Egg Donor « The Big F(ertility) Blog - November 13, 2010

    […] that you’ve taken some time to read our inaugural post encouraging prospective parents to “look beyond the pictures” of potential donors, and why I believe it’s important to look at everything the donor is […]

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